[x]

The ShameDo you want to look inside,
This tortured teenage mind.
View the fragments of a broken childhood,
That she can't leave behind.

Note the twisted torment,
That snakes across her skin,
And know that it exposes,
the pain she hides within.

Watch her try to hide,
The Scars, The burns, the Shame!
the web of self destruction,
She uses to mask her pain.

This girl is damaged goods,
That's what they always say,
Someone they would rather tease and jest,
Than help her find another way.

Deadly BladeTonight's the night,
I take my life,
Finally I'll be free,
From the trouble and strife.

Accept the inevitable,
I wasn't meant to get past this age,
Too worthless and pathetic,
And so I set the stage.

Tell my friends I'm sorry,
But I just don't belong here,
It's really time I was gone,
Before I age another year.

Perhaps the damage I have done,
Can be reversed in time,
Heal all the wounds I made,
Erase every memory that was mine.

Line up all the shining metal,
These - the tools of my trade,
Decide which one to use now,
Which shall be the deadly blade?

Pick one out and grab it,
Press it hard against my skin,
Feel it cut

TowerYou hurt me again with your selfish lie,
But you will never see me cry.
I'm not giving you that kind of power,
I'll stand strong just like a tower.

You won't get to see,
All that's left of me.
The never ending stress,
The tangled, twisted mess.

I feel the rage inside;
It will become impossible to hide.
It's better to take it out on me,
Than on you, you must agree.

Grab the blades and gouge away,
I'm too damaged now anyway.
Drain myself of thoughts of you,
Of everything I thought was true.

Lock myself behind this wall,
It's far too strong to ever fall.
Protect myself from those I see,
Protect you all from the likes of me.

Liquor DownLift the bottle to my lips,
Drink more liquor down,
Feel it scorch my throat,
and hide this frightened frown.

I can't feel this again,
I just can't let it be,
I can't care for you anymore,
Why don't you see?!

I can't love you anymore,
I just can't go through that pain,
So before my mind starts racing,
I'll lift up this old bottle again.

It's getting harder to see,
Through this haze of drink,
Harder to concentrate on you,
Harder to think.

Of those short lived good times,
The history of you and me,
The times I wanted forever,
But you said it wasn't to be.

I can't let this happen,
So I'll down this liquor,
Drown it all out,

Your Former AngelWatch these broken wings,
As they fall dawn to the floor.
I'm sorry, it's just that,
I'm not your Angel anymore.

See the blackened scars,
That stain this battered frame,
The marks of pure self hatred,
Oh, Isn't it a shame?!

See the rope burn round the throat,
That you once so gently kissed,
But you don't really care – do you?
This Angel won't be missed.

Don't you see you caused this,
By feeding me your lies,
Now you can stand and watch,
As your former Angel dies.

Worthless Piece of Dirt.A hopeless, stupid nothing,
A worthless piece of dirt,
Beat her to the floor,
And watch the blood soak though her shirt.

Smash your fists into her face,
Watch the blood pour out and smile,
That pathetic, worthless, nothing,
Will stop breathing in a while.

Lift her head then smash it down,
Upon the hard, unforgiving ground,
Deliver the maximum damage,
She won't tell, even if she's found.

You've had your fun now,
Done enough for today,
Hurt the worthless, stupid nothing,
For you it's simple play.

Laugh and joke with your friends,
About the way you beat her down,
The way her blood covered your hands,
How her smile became a f

I'm Nothing.Do you see the tears,
That fall down my face,
Do you know my fears?
That nothing can erase.

Do you know my story?
Would you like to hear?
It is not only of glory,
But of my suicidal fear.

Of why I use the blade,
Or sharp wire and pins,
To create these cuts I made,
A physical marker of my sins.

I do this because I'm nothing,
I matter to nobody – It's true.
No joy do I ever bring,
Why do you think it would be different for you?

I can't hold on to life any longer,
It is just too hard for the likes of me.
I wish I could be stronger,
But I'm a prisoner here and long to be set free.

Regret, Loss Regret, Loss

You broke my heart for the final time,
I used to think my love for you was prime,
But it was a one-sided game of russian roulette,
You held all the cards, now I hold the regret.

In the end I knew is was too good to be true,
Nothing about me was good enough for you.
I tried and sacrificed, but it was never enough,
I gave you my heart, but you played too rough.

Another shard of my soul has been taken,
Yet more of me has been forever forsaken.
I hope you're happy with your gruesome prize,
Because you'll always be loved in my eyes.

Too Close To MeHate radiates from me,
A swirling, dark presence,
That threatens to swallow me whole.
A dark and twisted emotion,
That is damaging my soul.

My eyes they seem so hollow,
Two endless pits of black,
And even as I'm writing this,
My mind begins to crack.

A tale of pure torment,
The broken fragments tell,
Of one young girls lonely battle,
And slow descent into her hell.

The darkness seeping from my veins,
Poisons all those close to me,
It gets inside their innocent heads,
And threatens their own sanity.

Soon they too will become insane,
And crave the self inflicted pain.
It's all my fault they are this way,
I held them close

The Key to Stop Loving YouTear myself to pieces,
Rip my heart in two,
All these things I've tried,
To find the key to stop loving you.

Cut myself to ribbons,
Rejoin the worthless few,
There has to be some way,
To find the key to stop loving you.

Abandon all our old friends,
Meet somebody new,
Perhaps this is the way,
To find the key to stop loving you.

Give up on the world,
On everything I knew,
This must be the way,
To find the key to stop loving you.

Travelled the whole world,
Now I just don't know what to do,
Guess I'll never find the key,
To make me stop loving you.

River.As I sit here and watch the river,
It's surface still and flat like glass,
I suppress a haunting shiver,
Hoping this temptation soon will pass.

My desire to drag this ball and chain,
Which binds me to this mortal plane,
To the edge of the tranquil river side,
And throw it in to be claimed by the tide.

It could carry me with it far away,
This pain would end, Here, Today.
I'll slip below the surface of this tranquil river,
To the gates of Hell I'll be delivered.

I'm sorry to my friends,
I just couldn't stay,
I couldn't face to exist,
Not even one more day.

Losing MeI find peace in loathing
I suffer pleasure from pain
I feel comfort in dark clothing
Whether judgment or acceptance is my bane

I have cried all my tears
Still in darkness I am bound
Wandering desperately through the years
The true identities never to be found

Lost is all
A blanked out, thrown out memory
From the abuses that do appall
Hope and love was my every

But now my life will soon dissolve
Into a screaming dark place with no resolve...

My Only Friend Now I'm AloneI want to cut this pain out,
See the damage on my skin.
I want to bleed it all out,
Release it from within.

I want to grab the blade,
And slice right to the bone.
I need to use the blade,
My only friend now I'm alone.

I want to use the blade,
Create new contours of my wrist.
I want to use my blade,
So I no longer exist.

The Broken ChildrenThe broken children dont belong,
This worlds for the perfect and the strong,
We always try to fit right in,
But always lose and die within,
Its easier to plan our ways to die,
Than try and exist in our smiling lie,
A Disgrace to our parents name,
No matter how we try it will stay the same,
We choose to hurt, to bleed, to die,
And beg and plead that you dont cry,
Just move on we will fade away,
An insignificant memory that cannot stay.

My RealityImagine being in a dark room, cold, void, lonely and quite scary.
Are you there? – in your mind can you see that?, imagine being in that room for as long as you can remember, and at night, the faces, the whispers, mocking you, coldly reassuring you that you are always going to be alone, with just them.

Do you know who they are? They are your fears, your doubts, your obsessions, your demons, everything that has driven you to that dark room.

Then imagine you can hear someone on the outside of that room, speaking, through the wall, at first you don't want to hear them, just another nasty trick, I mean who would be interested in talking

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Day In Day OutEveryday she cuts,
New damage to her skin,
That simple little cut,
Shows how much pain shes in,
Staring at her face,
On a torn-up Photograph,
Knowing how different it'll be,
In the bloody aftermath,
Re-reading every little word,
In the stupid letter she wrote,
As she picked up that bloody blade,
And cut accros her throat.

Looking Out My WindowLooking out my window
Feeling my heart break once more,
Knowing that as I watch you leave,
I wont see you anymore.

You kept me smiling for so long,
You made me feel like I could be strong,
Then you ripped my world apart,
And walked through the door
With my heart,

Please come back
And keep me safe,
Come back and help me erase
The pain I have here in my heart.

Please come back
And hold me tight,
Keep me safe
Through the night.

Can You Hear Me Screaming?Can you hear me screaming?
Can you see me cry?
Can you hear me screaming?
Will you let me die ?

Is there any point believing ?
That this pain will ever go ?
Is there any point believing?
That you could ever know ..

Know just how much pain I have inside,
Know how hard each day I try to hide,
And know that when I'm standing by your side
each time I say I love you,
I die a little more inside.

Dear LoveDear Love,

You have destroyed
this simple human heart,
shattered it,
into nothing, nothing
more than dust.
A dusty memory
of what could, and should
have been realilty.

You have turned,
turned that strong simple
timeless emotion
into nothing,
Nothing more
than sweetest torment.

Oh, sweet wretched Heartbreak!
One day I shall take great comfort
from your ill timed presence,
One day I shall crave your existance
in this broken fragments of a heart.

But now,
All I crave is the complex Love
I based my world around.

Dear Love,
You are my cruel mistress,
Do thy bidding,
for You have already destroyed me.

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Submitted: April 26, 2012
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Cutter's Rules

by ~I-AM-KAI, Apr 26, 2012, 3:41:11 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I thought the words I wrote down,
Had me on the mend,
But like all good things,
This too must end.

It's time this suicidal poet,
Swapped her pen for her blade,
After all the cutter's rules,
Must always be obeyed.

So now I'll say a fond farewell,
A sad so-long and sweet goodbye,
And know that as I leave you all,
It's crimson tears I cry.

What can I say my friends?
Thanks so much - it's been a blast!
As I lift this cold dead metal,
And take this sorry life at last.

Cutter's Rulesby ~I-AM-KAI

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I've been in a bad place of recent ... I've been strongly considering what is suggested in this poem .... I do love all my friends ... That includes everyone here on DA of course !!! But I just don't know how much longer I can actually keep going.....

I hope you like this ... I know it's not all that good ....

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

sad 3 3

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~zeldagirl236 Oct 6, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

hey...im sorry....life can be very cruel i know..but you should know...taking your life is not the answer...your friends will miss you...and your wonderful bits of poetry..so please..keep fighting....there must be something in your life worth fighting for....

~Henakuo May 1, 2012 Student Digital Artist

You should read this.

[link]

~I-AM-KAI Jun 10, 2012

It's a stunning and powerful piece of work

~Henakuo Jun 12, 2012 Student Digital Artist

no joke.

~I-AM-KAI Jun 12, 2012

nope

~penguinsCrazy08 Apr 27, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I connected to this a lot. I use a pen instead of a blade, although i've used a blade before too. The poetry and imagery is good. The message and emotion behind the poem is not. Please don't take your life.

~I-AM-KAI Apr 27, 2012

I find it both pleasing and upsetting that you can relate to this ...
Pleasing because it means it might be halfway decent ... but sad because it means you know exactly how this feels ...
I'm trying to not take it .... I'm do my very best to keep fighting ...

thank you for being kind ...

~penguinsCrazy08 Apr 27, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I find it both beautiful and upsetting that I can relate to it. I know how I felt when I was in that dark emotion. The only thing that keeps me going when I get there is my little brother. I keep fighting for him.
Find your one thing

~I-AM-KAI Apr 30, 2012

I'm pleased that you have something to fight for ... I always thought my nephew would be my thing ... but I seem to do more damage than good to precious things .. and the very last thing I want to do is damage him or his life ... so he would probably be better off without me ...

~penguinsCrazy08 Apr 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

hun, don't ever tell yourself that other's would be better off without you. You need to build yourself up. I used to think people would be better off without me... i've gotten better. If I may... my poetry reflects a lot of this stuff. You don't have to read it... but reading you thing helped me and gave me something to think about, so maybe

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